Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Moving On.....

Does moving on always feel so forced? I'm trying so hard to move on from things in my life my ex (who yes I may always be in love with), my old jobs (dear canada stop being so damn welcoming ok) and just trying to figure out what the hell I want to be when I grow up.

I used to think I knew that I had some kind of idea, but now, yet again as I'm searching for a new job after struggling to make ends meet for the past 3 months at my current job, which I'm loving less now that my favourite people are leaving and the owners stress about his financial situation is starting to affect my daily life at work and the fact that mentally I cannot cope with only 18 hours a week, I was working 60 hours a week in canada and 45 at the racing stables, I cannot cope working two day a week it is not in my dna.

An my ex, I have guys chasing me, guy making in very clear that they want me and I'm trying so hard to want them back, can this be a case of fake it till you make it? I dunno I guess I'll find out

Sunday, 12 February 2012

This Day, This week, This Month, This Life....

After making great efforts to move forward in my life, great new job with people I adore, making hilarious new friends and having great adventures, joining a gym and actually going more than one a week since I joined. I still feel lonely I miss my best friend who broke my trust and the boy that broke my heart, who I have deleted in some ways from my life at least 4 times in the past 4 months since we broke up but can't seem to leave. I want to be over him, I want to have fun with the people in my life that want to be there full time, that when I want to talk to them will always be there which I know he will be too but I kind of need him not to be. He makes it harder to move on because he wants to keep me in his life but he doesn't know what he wants from me and its confusing as hell, because he's dating someone else and all he talks to me about is how unhappy he is, its not my fault and the only person who can fix it is him. People are frustrating.